the gift of the present.

I feel alive. Present. For the first time in quite a while. I have a migraine, and vision in my left eye is blurry. But this is mostly a big nuisance- I still feel this clear feeling. It's a lovely summer evening, 8:25pm, and I've got the front door open, shades up on the window, and have reached out to neighbors I've lived next to for years and haven't officially met. I'm putting myself out there, and am more available than I've been. It is an energy shift. A happy one!

Maybe it's because I'm on the cusp of finally digging into the thing that my life has been waiting for me to do. It's finally time, and I have arrived at the place where I'm ready to move forward, instead of just wondering and thinking about it.

One thought is that there are NO MORE DISTRACTIONS. It's interesting how some of us have to push ourselves to the brinks to launch the change we have been desiring for long periods of time. I have no financial distractions, because I have no money to spend. It's peaceful in a way it hasn't been previously. I know that it is leading to the next step for me. I have no relationship distractions. As I've mentioned in a recent post, my life has been eerily quiet (my cousin, recently visiting from Spain, called Greensboro "Spooksville" Happy!

This is the first time in I don't know how long that I am home at a reasonable hour, no where to rush off to, taking the time making a semi-proper evening meal for myself. I found a bottled spiced apple cider in the fridge, and am making a club sandwich. Seems crazy I'm sure that these things would be remarkable, but most of the time I don't slow down long enough to breathe. I'm appreciating the little things that could be taken for granted, and it's a really nice feeling. The absence of some things makes other things more apparent.

My club sandwich
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Tonight's view from my back steps
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i always feel like somebody's watching me

This week started off with bang. I was at a local coffee shop this weekend, and a strange guy was not reading his newspaper, and blatantly staring at me instead. I thought maybe he was interested in what was on my screen, so I angled away from him a tad and ignored him. When some people to my left vacated their table, this person and his newspaper quickly got up and moved to their place, and I felt my bag move as he brushed by me. I adjusted it back up on my chair and kept typing.

All of a sudden a patron sitting in front of me jumped up, grabbed the newspaper on the guy's table, and revealed my wallet underneath! He quickly told him to get out. It all happened so fast... exciting I have to say! He had seen him grab it out of my bag when he went by. I'm so grateful to him- I never would have thought twice about it if he hadn't been
watching me! I thanked him on my way out, and he said he didn't think he was after my money, but rather was trying to stalk me. !!!! He had been watching the whole time, watching him watch me, and had even said something to the cafe staff about it. When he threw him out, the barista ran after him. It all caused quite a stir! When I thought it was about money, I laughed it off, and joked about how I didn't have anything for him to steal. This was much more unsettling!

Coincidentally, this kicked off a very lean week financially for me, so I'm seeing how far I can stretch the contents of my fridge and cupboards, by playing
Lynne Rosetto Kasper's game of "what can I make with these 5 ingredients"... wish me luck!

Oh e-cards, so good for a quick cackle...

Pasted Graphic IMG_4066

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gluten free pizza slices in portland!

www.pizzicatopizza.com

So excited to be here in PDX for a few days on vacation. It’s glorious and so inspiring. Really great to be playing on computer for fun for once, it’s been WAY too long! Good to be back. Vacation is essential to our health!

PS: This quote has been staring at me from my new favourite
magazine Experience Life (Being Healthy Is a Revolutionary Act): “The energy it takes to ignore an inner longing is greater than the leap of faith it takes to move you in the direction of your dreams.” The title and tagline of this magazine is brilliant!

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one more time.

The title of a great Daft Punk song. Propelling me forward through the mountain uncertainty and fear that have built up over the last few months, years.

Food as comfort, as the great satiator (I made this word up), like I can do anything as long as my belly is full --- and fear for how to survive when it is not. Survival instinct really is all it is. Well, mostly what it is.

f76a5395726109afa5739b8c189f8759 authorstudio.tumblr.com

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